I see potential in you. Now, if you keep writing shit like that above, then you will never reach it. Not that I am one to critcise, because I'm not a great MC myself. Heres my idea for you: write about something, rather than spouting drivel about nothing. It can be something violent if you wanna battle rap, or something meaningful that you wanna talk about. Just something, for the love of god man.
Peace

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Life isn't a bitch...
she's just sick of being personified -Sage Francis