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Old 04-10-03, 07:22 PM   #6
Und3fyned
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I think the vocab and multis are what make this peice tight, but at the same time they drag it down.

I really like this line:
The populous…….has surely altered-its-documents..
Soon to be destroyed with innocuous-offices..

But some of the other parts of this peice become "cloudy" because of and "overuse" of vocab. Had parts been kept more simple, I think that the overall of your work would've been better and your message more clear.
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