New to RB
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IP:
this was pretty good. I liked this.
Your use of rhyme worked and that can be difficult to achieve...I was feeling this.... well here and there anyway.
why am i born to die
the voice of the still borns cry
asleep in spirit, concevied in thruth
currupt by sin of the ruthless womb
seeds fall on soil, rich with life and grow
unexpected, rejected some fall on stones
the merciless sun and perilous nights, form sons
of darkness denied the light
the first two stanzas were great I thought...
most of this poem was good and it showed thought in the formulation of your ideas.
However I thought that the end was a little corny. Don't mean to badmouth or anything but you had ill, smart poem until you used the scholars from the hood line...it's too much of an elementary similie.
Dope shit anyway.
Peace
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I'm a goblin hooked on rails, stuck drinking ale/ I'll rip the horn out a unicorn and shove it up your fairy tale.
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