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Old 04-28-03, 08:18 PM   #1
elements804
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constructive critisism

IP:

ok I posted this battle verse on a site and the next day it crashed, so I gotta have somebody see it right? tell me what you think of it

The elements gather, while clouds in my mind form/ you thinkin I'm stuck, but thats until you feel the brain storm/ I rain on...for days and nights, no sign of light/rappin with snug jeans, that don't mean you rhyme tight/the lime light...shines far from you, only signs in blue/of strobing police lights to leave your rhymes subdued/ don't try me dude...Attempts only prove vain,this dude is lame/driving sugar trucks claiming he moves cain/your new name...is crystal light, you ain't spittin right/and you barely have flavor when you hit the mike/this kids is like...pain you riped it... sike!/think political, before accepting these lyrical fist fights//

ok tell me what you think

God-Bless
804
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