yo
I can't continue to fight the pain;
Hoping life could change; instead I chose to put knife to veins//
It might sound insane; but I no longer have a will to gasp for air//
I grasped my chair; rotated the wheels and let time pass with prayer//
I didn't ask to be here; its stunning; the thought of me walking and running//
Talking is shunning; I chose the path of where I'm to be found chalked-out in lining//
Feelings I chose and kept in confinement; my condition faced no refinement//
Misplacing the alignment of my bones was my planned assignment//
Sitting with a knife in my hand as I sigh and; think of what life had planned for me//
Could have held a medical degree; or maybe turned out be a name brand mc//
Instead I'll be finding out if heaven is a mystery//
ARGH!!! fuck the misery; I'll just cut my hand and see; where shit takes me//
-1 slice-; blood loss was hefty; starting to pass out before the outflow is empty//
Tempt me!!! And see if I wont go through with it; life...I'm through with it//
So much anger and anguish that I looked at my cut and salt is what I threw in it//
Pursuing it; bleeding with the thoughts that I lacked the dependency of my family//
There's no hope; there's no remedies for these suicidal tendencies;
But before I go I'm a bring homicide to ten mc's//
So test me please...see if I wont go the distance;
I'm lost in the moment with persistence;
This 14-inch blade was my only assistant; as I start feeling distant from the world there's no resistance...to the devil voices trying to put an end to my existence//
It's this time; it's this instant; within this rhyme I get lost in quicksand//
The - second slice -; was perpendicular to the first one//
Now I have a cross on my arm; and damn it hurt son//
Thought I had it bad but the - third slice -; was the worst one//
Falling off of my chair; these thoughts and memories flashed in despair//
Glass smashed was everywhere; as I just let the cut from the wounds gash out without a care//
Will my loved ones cope and deal with my behavior?//
I don't know; contradicting...with the actions of sinning; yet with hopes to see my savior//
Free from this world's captivity; is it in me to divide myself form this earth's capacity//
As I no longer feel a heart beat from my chest cavity//
A hopeless soul floating; disobeying laws of gravity//
Can I fathom the unattainable with actions unexplainable?//
All the sudden hearing voices "His condition is far from sustainable//
Ohh wait a minute; His life is still attainable; we need to get em to emergency as quick as possible"//
I keep relapsing between an image of angels singing gospels//
And an ambulance with a man; thinking is this one of God's apostles//
Soon to join the lost souls; letting go of my goals as I got those feelings//
Facing no form of healings; there will be no more chair wheeling//
As I envisioned me kneeling to pray for god's forgiveness//
On my family to relieve stress; this earths' surface...will I leave blessed?//
The last words I heard were: "There's no more heart beats in his chest"!!!


yo mad man....good luck dawg, i knew this ish was comin soon.... so i got right on it.