hmmm.....aight yo, u probably were in writas block r sumthn cause this needs sum work, dont tak it wrong i aint dissin on u, jus drop this side of u, and mak sum longa lines, it didnt fit togheta at all so try to even ur choice of words, then put sum wordplay, similies, and metophores in there and u'll only improve, much love playa.......peace