This is my improvments i have made let me know which one is better...

alright..

i know it's just the start of this, part of this
but ill put it down as words that's the... obvious

i may be female at the young age of sixteen
there is a whole world out there i've not even seen
i'm here fresh from the start i'm squeaky clean....
all you bitches bow down get on your knees
cause im here in the flesh i'm your mutherfucking queen

sand is the one, that's where my eyes are set
maybe you know him, i know you do,he'll be placein his bet
but when you lose, don't even come crying because your upset
just say what's from the heart that's your number one step

first of all i am new to this RB thing
at first confusion hit me with a dizzying sting
like a bite in the brain,stained full of emotion
standing around like I drank some crazy whack ass potion

but soon enough a woman figured it out
now i'm here in your face spitting it out
like water flowing out of a freaking fountain spout
i'm not part of a crew only one... that's the count
but that's ok i ain't about to pout

i don't need any oppinion on what you think
as far as i know i think my shit don't stink
i may be different and full of variety
but as far as i know i'm not part of this society
and i ain't scared to show
so i won't listen or give a shit about your impropriety

it may be

that i don't talk like a lady my words are unclean
the things i use may be a little obscene
but that's okay that's how i stand that's where i'll be
this is me in the flesh right here that's what you see........