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Jee-You Knit?
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IP:
This is a start, I think that it needs some work, in the second paragraph, lengthen it out, and it felt very unemotional for a part that should be a climax to this story. You also need to work on some of the vocab. Good start.
P.S. WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO SAND!!!!
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<table style=filter:GLOW(color=black)>MadMan</table>
-An Original RB Member: Yes, We're That Much Better-
Throw Back
.Compton Records.
.Vicious Determination.
"There are times when silence has the loudest voice" - Mike Bibby
The First Ever Middle Weight Champion
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