Interesting.
I really liked the imagery in the first and second stanzas.... that was strong.
Kinda thought that the whole whisky bit came fairly abruptly but looking back it works... that can happen so quickly...

One thing near the beginning I was having trouble with...

Hands clammy and looking for a bottle to hold
the tranisition from this line to the third line in the next stanza...

Put hands in my pockets; grip my Keys.
I take off in my car… down a bottle of whisky.
the problem I find with it is that I can't see the difference between the first and second time except for the time passed... so the getting of the keys and driving as opposed to the running in the first stanza goes unexplained. It seems to me that it was the agony of the repetition but for effectiveness that would be great if added.
However I do love the juxtaposition of the running to the driving. He was sober when he ran and when he drovbe he drank...
that was marvellous.

Also the fact that John never uses "hands" as a possession of his. he says MY keys, and MY pockets and MY car but not my hands... only hands. I don't know if this was intentional but it comes across as very self-depricating. nice....

For the most part I enjoyed the way the narrative was structured... good job there.
I found that it moved quite fast... If this was unintentional than I'd warn you to look out for it because it is noticeable. However if intentional to give the jumpy and quick effect I 't complain. ...

The reason I put all of this stuff as possible good or bad in is becasue I do not you as a writer so I don't assume things.

You looked to have fallen into a rhyme scheme at the end that could have been more effective.

ANyhow,,, good piece.

Peace

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I'm a goblin hooked on rails, stuck drinking ale/ I'll rip the horn out a unicorn and shove it up your fairy tale.