aight putting my extreme hate for 13th disciple aside . . .
I felt Mic Check took this battle for these reasons::
Leaving this rook-scarred...kid is staring at rocks, thinking that he looks hard//
^^I was laughin my ass off on this one . . .
Fight me again; n find out I'm ready to drop a 'Holy Shit' rd like a 'constipated priest'//
1 punch will have ur lung expanding cease; I stole your heat like a confiscated piece//
^^good
Deliver a thunderous swing; similar to swishes your styles 'all net'; under the rim//
^^nice
on 13th's verse I could see him reaching for wordplay but it just seems to forced the way he words it. You gotta be subtle with it but still make it obvious at the same time . . . if that makes sense.
try to make your lines even. one line seems to just run into the next with no obvious structure. and the spaces in between your bars really messes up the flow of ur verse when ur trying to read it.
Mic Check, i like your new style soooo much better then that multi multi multi thing you had goin on for a minute, and you got some ill punches comin out that hit way harder now. a lil bit of inconsistency an filler but i definitely see your progression. but try to leave the filler out:: such as . . .
With Clarks I kick…strike and hit this bitch with precise marksmanship//
Your back will split when I get the clip, then persist to embark with spit//
^^this bar really had no point. it didnt hit hard. no wordplay metas or similes in it either. this and a couple other lines were filler. I try to make every single line a punch. and if not every line then at least the 2nd line in each bar. filler just waters ur verse down. a verse will hit so much hader even if it is only half the length when their is no filler.
13th. i see the wordplay and shit workin its way into ur verses. just keep workin on it. after a while u begin to realize where to put key words and stuff so that ur punches really hit.
and . . .
Quote:
Originally posted by 1-N-Gone
b4 i even get started i treat every rb.com battle like it was a real battle...now if u read both outloud pretend this is a real freestyle battle goin down...who tha fuck is gonna believe that 13 came up wit all dat shit off tha top of his head....and not jus this time.......EVERY FUCKIN TIME
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^^if thats what ur lookin for you need to either go to a
real freestyle battle or the next closest thing you could do is go to the audio battles forum. Text battles are
NOT the same as audio. They are neither written/spitten the same nor judged on the same qualities . . . just needed to clear that up . . .
Mic Check go vote on my battle vs. Synikal please . . . I'm pretty sure 13th already did. You know where to find it. Thanks.