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Old 05-12-03, 08:25 PM   #11
NuclearConcepts
Middle Weight
 
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Posts: 329
From: ..Madison Ohio..
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Quote:
Originally posted by Bash
damnnnnnnn man , ,, tell me , why every single newbie has too be whack


Your a fucking asshole..

This piece wasnt that bad lyrically..

You need help structuring your verse..


Try writing like:

blah blee blah blee blah blee blah blee blah blee blah blee blah blee...
blah blee blah blee blah blee blah blee blah blee blah blee blah//
blah blee blah blee blah blee blah blee blah blee blah blee...
blah blee blah blee blah blee blah blee blah blee blah blee blah//

Make them even.. It helps flow a lot.

You just need more experience.. Show more emotion, get a bigger vocab..

And you'll be fine.

4 out of 10 on this though.
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