iwas aiight synopsist...i thought you used line to much in one of your lines,i mean lines wiht the word line in them get dull nahmean coz they only rhyme with line....see mean...haha im jus tplayin,yeah you had that bar withthe fish lines an dshit,try to use somehting else but line for that one,and maybe

Patience is a thin line like fish lines so stay on alert/

turn it into

Patience is a thin line like fish twine so stay alert/

maybe?,just check your shit over to rub out stuff like that nahmean.....
also check each line flows with the other before and after it nahmean,itll come out easier....like trill said,the merry go round shit made me laugh...and it started off a bit weak,but ended up nicely i thought....keep elevating with it nahmean....if you need help with shi tjust pm me an ill be glad to help....thankyou for putting up that response to the threads at the start also...you obvioulsy read the rules and shit nahmean.....sound lsike a good idea to do that from now on,i peep most of the piosts anyways when i have the time.....
anyway dun,keep posting and youll advance the shit,i liked this so far but...

bismillah