the first word that comes to mind is
despair.

So I've found a writer...
this was good.

My hearts breath shortened
With it’s relentless sobbing.
Tears merging with tears
Flooding the ocean of humanity
Struggling to survive within me.
^^ this segment is gorgeous.... I love connection between tears and ocean.... and flood. I always saw tears as the link between emotion and biological life. the salt in tears reminds me of the ocean... and to be flooded (in a negative way) by something so life giving.... I fucking loved that segment.

This was very personal but not in a superficial way. I did not need to know why he is like this or how or what led up to this....
he just is and the mood and writing is strong enough to sustain the complexity involved of describing a simple state of being.

The way the narrative came across was great. He was giving instructions... nearly too much for me to handle. But one can see the goodness in him just by the fact that he cares to warn people and share himself. He thinks himself a monster and by that recognition the subject of the poem is brought back to the innocence of chidhood. Not because he is innocent, but because he is to be forgiven.

wonderful.
Peace

__________________
I'm a goblin hooked on rails, stuck drinking ale/ I'll rip the horn out a unicorn and shove it up your fairy tale.