I checked out your piece and i think you are showing alot of meaning but you tend to seek the black hole of simplicity. Many of your rhymes tend to be very typical. Try to work on a more abstract measure and i think you'll find some promising results in the diversity of your works to come.

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SOFT FOCUS crew record (3-0) Wits end ~ DOI ~ Central....now who's next?
sacred scriptures record (5-0)