was an aiight attempt there chutney....was really simple...really simple...but it was ok...you need to up your vocab,and think of somehting other then what your going to do to cats in your rhymes nahmean?think of somethign original to write about,anythign at all,just try to drop the gangstaness...its just really annoying unless its completely ill...your flow fell off at times i thought...was almost abstract in a way ,i didnt mind it ,the first little 4 bars was aiight...the owl line was good i thought...but you really need to up your vocab and rhyme scene nahmean,its too simple at the moment,but keep writing and posting an no doubt youll up on it nahmean...keep going wiht it but aiight...forget abou tmentioning your race and colour too,it dont really work,just brings criticism aiight...just keep writing and uppin and posting and shit and youll elevate over time aiight....


peep my zions verse if you want,its anceint but it keeps getting looked at ahha...aiight then...

bismillah...