Wow...I got done on time (well early considering the extension). My style kind of change's near the end...got more serious, LoL, meh...I don't like it to much, but oh well here it is.
Oh, and the green colored lines = An alien speaking.
The italic line's = A New's Reporter (first one)
The bold line's = Are like ...oh fuck it just read.

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“Tonight on the evening news;
Michael Jackson is black again.
Buffy got pregnant from a vampire and gave birth to a shit load of suicidal, cannibalistic kids.
Britney Sp”---bzz--- “We interrupt your regular news program to bring you this ground breaking news;”
“Yo, I be the rapping alien |
Bringing dopeness to your cranium |
Extra terrestrial being | Givin’ ya girl sexual feelings |
Cock licker! With tourett’s I’m special |
Green ski”---bzz---“We interrupt your...err ground breaking news which interrupted your regular news program to bring you this even more ground breaking news;”
Yes, hello, I’m Richard Blew |
“The Rumors Are True” |
*smack* Gi’mme that mic | The boy was right |
I’m the spokesman for “Myths” |
I ain’t joking, listen up public. |
An old guy does live at the North Pole |
He gives away gifts, none of them are sold |
He’s got 8 Rein Deer | And only comes out once a year |
The Easter Bunny is pink and does have foot long ears |
Some wish that dirt rabbit was queer |
It ain’t just about the holidays |
People’s tell rumors all day |
Yes, you can get aids from a toilet seat |
You go blind if you beat your meat |
Look out, the Boogie Man’s all over the modern world |
Big Bird had a gay affair with the Cookie Monster |
In the bathroom, lights out, you better watch out |
Let her name escape ten times from your mouth |
And Bam! Marry will appear | Adjacent to the mirror |
Standing bloody and all | No more then four feet tall |
Then she’ll mutter “You called?” under the carbon dioxide escaping her lungs |
She tells her tale of rape. Dad gets a hard on, and makes her get on ‘the cock ride’, yet she’s so young |
One time Daddy’s rod died, from pure rage, beat her to death with the but of a gun |
Never arrested, sentenced to life for her death or having sex with his daughter, a quarter of his age |
That’s enough myths for now... P.S. Jerry Springer does have threesome’s with transvestites backstage |