I think it's great, and you wrote what you though, you don't need to change anything, but if i wrote it this is what i would do:

'It was more than theft or tokin' a bong' and 'Now your leaving behind 2 kids and a wife', the former needs more of a refined or poetic wording rather than slang, though i understand slang is there to relate to inmates. The latter should relate to you rather then a generalization of people on death row, and emphasis on the loss of family would give more feeling.

I loved it though, it was excellent