yo Grim85----

ya got the Rhyme down--but bein new & shit I don't like ta dis others material---as 4 the too Much hatin----I think yer gettin what ya give--read yer posts again--Not to kind ta the ladies dawg-----& shit sayin yer gonna get evryone's girl-----that just be askin 4 hatin---
all n all---------keep writin------peace

got off to a weak start with my first battle
any advise on this one
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...15&pagenumber=1