Thread: "My Shoes"
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Old 05-27-03, 07:01 PM   #3
Legendary
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Posts: 234
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Parts of this I liked, parts of it I didn't. Don't get me wrong, you're damn good writer but I don't like poems that come off like a competition for who has the worst life. Someone always has it worse than you.

You think you got it bad?
Try living without a mom or dad
Think your life is the worse?

You wouldn't know what the fuck to do
If you had to walk in My Shoes

Besides those lines right there, I liked what you wrote.

"Never getting told that your really Loved
Only One you know who cares, Is above"

I dunno if your life is really like this, but if it is, those lines right there should keep you going. Those were the lines I liked most out of it. You might have it bad but it's always good to keep a positive view towards everything. I'm glad you feel that way.

It looked like you put a lot of emotion into this with describing how you're treated. I felt that. You always do good with writing that way, helping the reading feel what you feel. So instead of dragging out this reply a lot more I'll just say this was good and I'm glad I read it.
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