can you give me some feedback before i go any further? , i got the 2nd verse nearly done, just needs some "tweaking"! it might look a little short but i'm intending to do four verse, nearly equal length!

(intro)
this is my life pt2..
what you heard before?
it's only a sample, of my life..
filled with blood, sweat and gore!

yo,
I gotta shout for the ignorant to listen...
Even though I clout, they persistently act like I’m missin...
Boring, humble talk about my heritage – has them pissin (laughter)
When my world starts to crumble, I’ll release my precious ambition...
Where I’m livin, things are starting to rumble, unbearably getting worse...
I’m slowly, sincerely arranging my inevitable date with the hearse...
I think my accident prone life’s, - towin a curse...
Sink to the lowest lever, need to stroke 20 form my moms empty purse...
I’m superficially insecure, wouldn’t be a first, sinning ain’t the cure...
But I understand ignorance and blood thirst is my lure...