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IP:
you had a nice i dea but i couldnt keep the flow, it seems like your lines just have to many words in them and it seperates the rhmying to much. you know what i mean?
its like you read two whole sentances and out of the two sentances only two of the words rhyme.
i think if you made the lines shorter it would rhyme better.
just work on that and i think it would be a lot better, you had a nice idea but a song just aint a song if it doesnt rhyme right
thanks for replying to mine.
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