hmm...the first half of your piece had too easy a scheme...

I mean...its really easy to rhyme "ism's"

you can rhyme that all day....

secondly I see you rely on End rhymes...to pull off a good end rhyme scheme the lines shouldnt be long...and if they happen to linger there should be some internal rhyming to keep the reader moving along...because they rhyme seems boring and predictable if the lines linger but end with the same rhyme...ya dig...

content is pretty ok....i'd just work on ya delivery and line length

pay back the fav
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=53089