I'll start off by commenting yours then...

makin nuns dropkick their faith, I embrace the fact, my existence is cracked,

dropkick their faith, nice word play

letting my eternity save face, steal your time of day, tell me I can give back

give back my love... this rings all too true for me right now...

my love, you impact my love, and I know I'll never be able to rise above,
the push and the shove. but you're all that I have, too bad I don't possess,

nice flow there, rise above the push and the shove....


the ability to be clean up whats left of this mess; from exploding hearts,
your ventricles and atriums splitting valves pulling my embodiment apart;
and ceasing my breath, wishing you were what I had left, hate me now,
I'm becoming adept at the secrets I've kept, I'm only following the cow,

nice flow....

because I'm mad as a hatter, the size won't fit my gigantic headcase forever,
emotions making words fatter, high cholesterol levels and flogging leathers,
inflicting public beatings; read the scars of the back of the frontside of me,

back of the frontside, nice imagery...

they'll tell you to shut the fuck up becase I'm damn sick of your curiosity,
so I kill the cat myself, and get tried and convicted for felinoside; judge
I plead guilty but my counter suit is that she stole my heart. won't budge,
push the wall, but it's set in place, so I move it with a seven forty seven,
the bodies pile up on top of yours, you're part of the scenery in heaven,
and If you'll kill because I'm differant and because my bread is unleavened,
I'm mentally poor, neural poverty is the reason that I'm breathing anymore......

I really felt that piece... I have to say I'm going through a lot of what you're writing about right now, so I can definitely relate... Flow was nice, at times excellent.... keep it up...

(And i'd appreciate if you peeped my piece now