Withersman Verse 1 - It was aight. Flow wasn't there, didn't have anything special in it, but I can tell it came from the heart. Not bad. Try to get some imagery in there, edit the flow a little bit, and get some multies to spice it up. Vocabulary usually helps too.

Withersman Verse 2 - This was a little better than your first one. Ended it off nicely. Had a decent flow, better than the first. Again, try to add some creative writing skills in there.

Eviley - Decent job ma. Had some simple rhyming tho, like your opener was pretty Elementary. Flow was ok. Like I said before, try to add some better Vocabulary, Multies, and Imagery helps. Also, if you use better imagery in a heart-felt piece, it shows emotion which is a Plus in writing.

Not bad ya'll.

pZ!