Hmm.. close battle.

Scare : Nice line tho the flow was off, and many words didnt rhyme at all. Very good ending and emotion put into this however.

Pledge : Very in depth story, realistic, but the ending was a little weak and corny. To go over the limit as u did, I expected a lot of imagery and description in your verse to not find any. Also, like Scare, a lot of bars didnt flow or rhyme... hurt it a little more.

Vote : Im going with Scare on this one. The ending took it.