Hmmm.....
alright......


Let's start off with the positive.....I could sense that the emotion was there for the most part....and sometimes I could understand what you are feeling for this girl, I suppose......

but.....

the structure is rather bland and the overall set-up and execution didn't strike me to read this willingly.
I don't care what you write about, as long as it's from the heart and it sounds dope. It has to make me think, it has to be inspiring, and frankly lines like this:
"I’ll be down with you if peeps stay dissin/
I’ll never cheat on you you’re the only one I’ll be kissin/" don't do it for me as being thought provoking.

Secondly, your rhymes are forced, and your lines are so choppy it is not even funny. You jump from idea to idea without a flowing motion of ideas from line into line.

Take this line from example:
"My love for you will never vanish/
at the party you be shakin it up and down like your Spanish/"

The lines don't even flow together, you just jump from one idea to the next, thus bringing out a forced rhyme.

Also, if you are writing a personal poem, include personal metaphors, or cosmic metaphors. Don't compare your love to Snoop Dogg or Ashanti, or any other public figure for that matter. It just doesn't work.