aight feedback:

"In The Begining
Children Must Overcome Many Obsticals In Life
The Way They Dress And Act Will Be There Sight
Continuesly Some Try And Are Rejected By There Peers
Depending On Others, Embaresment Is There Worst Fear
How Can A World Created For Equality Be So Cruel
Making Jokes At People, Because There Not Cool??"
- this was a tight way to start, the verse didn't disspaoint, the flow,vocab and overall look of it was dope, because it is a reality for many kids, this added to the effectiveness of the verse!

Meet Phil
Phils Parents Have Neglected Him Since Day One
Some Days His Father Forgets He Even Has A Son
Locked In His Room In Deep Thought On How To Escape
Thinking Why God Would Give Him A Life Of Hate
- this was a nice introduction of the character, howveer i thought this was the weakest verse, but by weak i also mean it was dope....

Dreams
Phil Once Had Dreams He Wished To Fufill
Now He Says Fuck It Im Stuck In This Land Fill
Always Thought Of Being A Doctor..Liked To Help
But Now He Relizes It Wont Happen, He Cant Even Help Himself
He Deals With The Life He's Delt, But No More Dreams
Life Is Almost Over In His Eyez, Or Atleast Thats How It Seems - this was probably the ebst verse in this piece, it was emotional, flowed well and the wordplay and vocab were hott..

The End Of Torment
Phil Took His Fathers Bat To School, Just For A Friendly Game
No One Really New This Kids Mind, No One Helped This Insane
Walking Past The Door To The Bathroom, He Swung At A Kid
So Innocent And Young, But Such And Impact Left Dents That Were Big
Upset With His Deeds, Phil Started Dripping Tears And Counting..
How Many Years, Will It Take Till I Climb My Mountain
- this was a great way to end it, the emotion was blazin, the visual imagry as well was hott, the vocaba nd wordplay really came through in this verse...


OVERALL: i'd give this a 9/10, it was a tight piece filled with emotion, imagry, the flow and vocab were ace!

keep it up!