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The creases of the battle hardened,
The sea of blood upon the ground,
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nice opening....starting it by the setting is really good..props!
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A gun in the hands of a warrior,
The dead and dying countless,
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deep!...i liked how the way u describe this.."...dying countless"..i loved that one...it's quite strong..just basically stood out
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A war fought to ensure freedom,
The living noble rise in triumph,
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vocabulary is well used in here...i liked it!
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The dead lay in sacrifice,
Millions have died so billions could live,
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good message...i liked how the way you made the reader understand the importance of those ppl who died
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I wish I could have been there,
I know I would not have fled,
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hmmm pretty interesting...teh courage and determinationn..it showed on here...love it
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Hopefully I would have been one of the living,
But I would be proud to be one of the dead.
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these last few lines are definitely my fave from all of them...just makes me feel soo proud of all those ppl who died for our country...
good job...like a tribute to all those who sacrficed their lives for their country...nice work!