alright...this piece is very interesting...

Imagery was most likely to stood out on this one...the flow is aight..not that great but it was smooth...vocabs are good...some words are a bit off but i think i got the reason whyd u use them...

just one thing...if ur gonna write this kinds of poems...dont u think it would be better if u put more like metaphors or like deep words that would express more of what u want the readers to understand ya kno...

well thats just my constructive critism...hehe

i liked it tho....hope to see more!

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<br><br><center>- Shiznit -
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- That's a Fact - </center>