View Single Post
Old 06-24-03, 03:20 PM   #7
shiznit
Tampons are expensive
 
shiznit's Avatar
 
Posts: 676
From: Somewhere uve never been born....
IP:

alright...this piece is very interesting...

Imagery was most likely to stood out on this one...the flow is aight..not that great but it was smooth...vocabs are good...some words are a bit off but i think i got the reason whyd u use them...

just one thing...if ur gonna write this kinds of poems...dont u think it would be better if u put more like metaphors or like deep words that would express more of what u want the readers to understand ya kno...

well thats just my constructive critism...hehe

i liked it tho....hope to see more!
__________________
<br><br><center>- Shiznit -
- Tampons are still expensive -
- That's a Fact - </center>
Send a message via Yahoo to shiznit   Reply With Quote