nice drop...could've used more metaphoric imagery, but all and all it was nice...I agree with N-Demic, the second verse was tighter than the first...I would stay away from introducing what we are about to read like:

Head darkness My bretheren n’ catch storys of demons
That are not for the sqee-mish, squirmish or weaklings

don't tell us what we are about to meet in the story...let loose and pick up the peices afterward...let the pansies just go home...anyways return the favor check my joint--Ya'll Hate It...peace