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your just puttin words together that make no sense... on a scale 1-10 i'd say 2... and thats pushin it.
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^^Get a Dictionary dawg^^
This was pretty tight for a newb, You have decent vocab, just try to sue it a bit better, and don't cram it all into one line, you know? But you good potential no matter what Smoke says...
Kepp elevatin dawg! (oh...give it a 6.9/10 - not quite a 7)