I dunno, Grammar and spelling is a must, THe concept was good except the change in subject, Technically subject wasn't changed but SubTopic was like at first it was a different family issue and trials and tribulations is a phrase I heard before. Overall I suppose it would've been good. That last line may have been cool to write (I do it sometimes too) but if you had a beat and tried and fit that in then you should sign up for Bone Thugs cause that line is just too long. But it was Ok. Not something to realease without some more work put into it. GOOD JOB!!

:-)