Shiznit's THoughts:

VOCABULARY

>not at all much in it but how the way u used those simple words made the whole piece really interesting to read.

"alls i want is you,we callin each other boo,and it'll be like cinderella u tha missin princess and i got ur shoe"

^^^^^^>the whole cinderella was really romantic....used plain vocabs then support them with some symbols that made some lines really cool..props!


FLOW

> fits...it was smooth..u could almost like sing with it ya know...and yeah u stick with longer line by line..tight!


CONTENT

> what of course teh confusion...the doubt of self...the pain...the emotions....i really liked how the way u was trying to figure out who's really that ur girl with...like u feel like he's all better than you and ur soo damn curious of wanting to know...like a twisted brain of a pyromaniac waiting to lit a fire every second...but yeah that was nice

WORDPLAY

>multies reflected the whole artistic sorta kinda way trip of this piece...

"Who is it,is it ma enemies,is it a guy thats a thug and can make u go weak at tha knees
is it a asshole who only has debts,fees,no gees why would u do this don't do it please"

^^^The opening part was well executed toouch of multies...that was good

OVERALL

>definitely wanna hear this in audio..i could hear it now...heh

nice job!

__________________
<br><br><center>- Shiznit -
- Tampons are still expensive -
- That's a Fact - </center>