Shiznit's THoughts:
VOCABULARY
>definitely up for that cuz u used mainly simple and plain words and just basically threw random stuff on this...if you would use like more deeper or like more interesting words that would caught the readers eyes...this would be good
FLOW
>i dont really feel the flow of this cuz the lines were short although its quite amazing on how u categorized...dark, cold and lonely made ur piece attractive....but wasnt really feelin it too much
WORDPLAY
>hmm the only thing that i noticed is that this was somewhat like a keystyle that were elaborated by some kind of story....its really interesting..but couldve been better if u put more in it ya know...just a thought..
CONTENT
>affections and emotions stood out on this piece...life sometimes do suck sometimes and we cant really control it but the only thing we can do to affect the flow of life is when we make choices...and think about its positive and negative effects of it...love it
OVERALL
>wasnt bad at all...this is the first one ive read...and i know that you couldve made this better...but hey...there are still other chances...take them
..well nice read tho
drop more!