Shiznit's Thoughts:

VOCABULARY

>hmm...not bad some words are really confusing but as i read furthermore it turned out clear. You only used small amount of decriptive words but one suggestion.. if you threw out a couple of simple words here and there make sure you support them with more deep and strong ones to obtain an interesting structure to the piece...

FLOW

>i didnt reallly feel the flow much at all...i kept on thinking whats missing i mean when i read it out loud...i thought i was just reading them all wrong but i read it a few times but i couldnt seem to follow the drip of the piece..but it was good readin tho

WORDPLAY

>the rhyme scheme was very shaky couldve been better if u execute some words to fit in the flow...not very much multis and metas....if couldve add a couple of stuff on there but its all good could be better...


CONTENT

> the fact that these kind of pieces are very typical nowadays...ya kno with d whole "girls cause problems too much" kinda thing..u kno how that goes..but really really interesting piece

OVERALL

>not too bad....but its good to read...and yeah we're still elevatin...dont be afraid ask ppl...they can help in some ways..

nice job

__________________
<br><br><center>- Shiznit -
- Tampons are still expensive -
- That's a Fact - </center>