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Re: Tears
IP:
Quote:
Originally posted by XEastSide_QueenX
[ First Time ... Go Easy On Me Guys ... ]
One smile hides a hundred tears
I have been cryin too long
Been sad for too many years
People think that they know the real me
But in reality all you see
Is this fake image I have created
It's been updated and over rated
([B]this was a good entrance i think i shows how you really feel and the way u describe it it gives sum sort of mental picture
These Tears I have cried
Have left marks on my cheeks
Been depressed and unhappy
These past few weeks(same as last time good describin u can jus picture the tear marks)
I have been hated and talked about
Been liked then faked out
Been hugged and felt loved
Then stabbed in the back and made fun of(i know da feelin so i can relate to this peaice on that part that was interestin choice of words
When will it all stop?
When will this torture end?
When will I make not an enemy, but a friend?
When will I be able to smile and show my teeth?
When will I be able to stop crying and start to breathe?
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good ending all around i think this was a good peice i would give it a 6/10 good job |