Life Explained

On the first day Lord created cow. And Lord said,
"You must go to the field with the farmer all day
long and suffer under the sun, have calves and
give milk to support the farmer. I will give you a
life span of sixty years."

Cow said, "That's a kind of a tough life you want
me to live for sixty years. Let me have twenty
years and I'll give back the other forty." And Lord
agreed.

On the second day Lord created dog. And to dog,
Lord said, "Sit all day by the door of your house
and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past.
I will give you a life span of twenty years."

Dog said, "That's too long to be barking. Give me
ten years and I'll give back the other ten. So Lord
agreed (sigh).

On the third day Lord created monkey. Lord said,
"Entertain people, do monkey tricks, make them
laugh. I'll give you a twenty year life span."

Monkey said, "How boring, monkey tricks for twenty
years? I don't think so. Dog gave you back ten, so
that's what I'll do too, okay? And Lord agreed again.

On the fourth day Lord created man. Lord said,
"Eat, sleep, play, enjoy. Do nothing, just enjoy,
enjoy. I'll give you twenty years."

Man said, "What? Only twenty years? No way man.
Tell you what, I'll take my twenty, and the forty cow
gave back, and the ten monkey gave back, and the
ten dog gave back. That makes eighty, okay?"

"Okay," said Lord. "You've got a deal."

So that is why for the first twenty years we eat,
sleep, play, enjoy, and do nothing; for the next
forty years we slave in the sun to support our
family; for the next ten years we do monkey tricks
to entertain our grandchildren; and for the last
ten years we sit in front of the house and bark
at everybody.

Life has now been explained.

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