hahaha, nice topic - im guessing you just got dumped or knocked back , lol, thats the vibe i got from it - flow was actually pretty nice you just need to even the bar lengths to between 12 and 16 syllables per line, add a couple more internals in there, multi's would make it doper too, try to get indepth when your writing, give the reader something to keep wanting to read more, to get involved with the piece when its like this.

Not bad though my man, you've improved since i checked you last, nice one mate. : )