standing awake in my room, crying into my window
until the dull reflections blur with glimmers like tinsel
my nightly ritual starts when awoken from sleeping
when my father calls me a dick and uses fists to beat me
to his pleasing, tonight was no different, the cycle's confusion
it wasn't easy, lying to others about my bumps and bruises
playing in this game where to win means losing, it's hard
this mental intrusion, i live below the birds, and can't be up to par
myself stared at me with those eyes of darkness, astray
so i dropped to my knees with a thump - and began to pray

"my sweet dear god, help me...this life, i don't deserve it
my pleas for help, tell me you've heard them
the truth is i'm learnin', to cope, allow sunshine, not pout
but how can i even smile when my front teeth were knocked out
you stipped my life of happiness and left me no correction
no content with myself just a pocket full of empty reflections
with hole in the bottom section, letting them fall into nothing
oh wait, correction...letting my heart fall from ever loving
now your nothing, your book your shit, your fakes, your myths
hear me out..fuck you..i'll use your holy paper to roll joints with"

and then with a flash and a bang started happenin' things
a bloody black angel crashed through the screen, flappin' his wings
asking with screams "how do you want your life?!?!
how do you want to die?!?! would you rather smile or cry?!?!?!"
"why?, you ask me these things, with such improbability
you gave me thoughts of suicide, trying to get rid of me..."
"no you silly fool, i wanted you with me, your life is so shitty
God gave you something, look inside yourself, it's gifts you'll see
tell me it isn't, you have the most important thing in eternity
and i will show you a life of perfection, if you give your soul to me"
"holy jeez...how can i think, i can't what can i do, i won't...feel
if you take my fathers life and after away, you have yourself a deal.."


"sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet"


the next morning my father died of a heart attack, a dreary collapse
so intense it didn't even leave his spine intact it was intwined in cracks
life is mine at last, ... years pass time to laugh, when don't i?
love is here, love is there, love is in life...i'm on the clouds, my hopes high
i didn't cry once since that fateful night, i lived up to the ages unsurpassed
by any records one could make evident, or any thought one could grasp
future is also bright, darkness is in the past, living is only glee
until that one night, with a smile and a chicken nugget, i died in my sleep

...... up up awaaaay


i came to a gate, unfamiliar and unexepected, .... this isn't the deal
these roads are sparkling of gold, my...God? this isn't real
certainly it appeals, ... i strolled inside with a smile, saw hunny bees
then suddenly, a 40 foot tall king with gold skin walked in front of me
was it He?.....................

Son, if i may...you life was a dissapointment, sad and ungreat
when i attempted to look at you, you spat in my face and asked me away
now it's back i have strayed, not to laugh and mislead, but to accept
life is full of sadness despair hurt, and most importantly regrets.
that night was a mistake on your part, i promise you well,
you sold something, that wasn't even yours to sell....
so now it's come to the day....for your ass to meet it's maker.
I demand repay! i sentence you to eternity...


as heavens chocholate taster....


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all the italicized dialogue is the same person.
do the math....chea

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