No Hard Hiting Punches...You Need To Work On That...Also I Didnt Like Your Structure...Its Like Your Doing Bullet Points Wit Numbers...Just Lay It Out Normally...

Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah//
Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah//
Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah//

Easier To Follow And Looks Better...Try To Add Decent Multie's And Wordplay To Sharpen Up Your Verse...It Will Come Over Time But Good To Know What You Gotta Include...

So I'll Give You A Generous 4/10
Not Being Harsh...Just Real...

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[size=0.5]My Wins Always Bring Fire[/size]</center>