i like ya rhyme structure, off the norm. and flowed nice. wordplay was sick all through-out it. i liked this A LOT. good story all the way through. the verse about the girl was my fav. like daughter like mother. PEACE

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""Accustomed to trample on the rights of others, you have lost the genius of your own independence and become the fit subjects of the first cunning tyrant who rises among you." --Abraham Lincoln, speech, September 11, 1858