hmm.....

im not sure that i like the simple like 3 word lines.....but i've probably done that before so i won't dwell on it

another little bit of criticism before the good...i don't like how you have so many rhymes in there.....just break it up a little more thats all....you don't even have to just a suggestion...

fav lines:

This life lost twisted, forget it
Its no longer the lime light
But a fright inspite of blinded sight

nice drop needs a little improvement, but then nothing is ever perfect