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Old 07-29-03, 03:08 PM   #3
bouncedoggydog
"Cuz bruk said so"
 
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Posts: 1,540
From: Los Angeles
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Structure...... Realy needs some..... Your rhyme scheme can use some work, but this is just a suggestion. I liked your last line, it jumped right out at me. Your flow is not in question, you can rhyme, this is obvious, now just put more time into your Structure... It will make a huge difference to your auidence. Keep elevating, we all need to get better, but no one is perfect, well put by Da Joka....
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