You know, like your last piece, this had a real ease to it. A simplicity that held the depth of your emotions, and what you were portraying overall. You went quite a bit inside yourself, without going TOO inside yourself. Which wouldn't have been good for the way this piece was written.

The rhyme scene a bit rigid? Gah, being picky. It was part of the piece.

These kinds of pieces are hard to critique. The simplicity is not all plain, and helps adhere the piece to the reader.

Okay, i'll say this. It felt a bit over-elaborate once or twice. So in a way, you did go slightly too inside yourself (well your feelings and thoughts). But only slightly. And it's a picky criticism. Especially for this type of piece.

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