Ummmm, this piece kind of confused me a little. I wasn't really sure where you were going with the concept, but nonetheless, there was some really vivid imagery and beautifully written lines:

>Souls merge on common grounds, lush with green and watered with tears/

>The body longs for a break from it's harsh ruler...the mind/

I enjoyed reading it. ALso,
I saw in your reply to someone else's piece, you were kind of critical of their flow, n cuz of that I thought you would be a little more structured with your rhyme scheme,but this came out fine..Then again I havent read much from you so i dont know your style yet..

anywayz, nicely written.
stay up.
pz