I thought this was good, and despite what some of the other comments here say, the simplicity was one of the draw cards. I felt like, I had come to the end of my life and the simple realisation that I had unfinished business, and unanswered questions, that somewhere along the lines I had misplaced, or simply assumed I could put them off until a later date...
Certain lines have an Elizabethen Prose about them, which I personally always love, as when appropriate, it can add to the drama of the piece, with a touch of classical writing.

And one last thing, I dont mean to insult anyone here, but reading advice regarding Deceit's use of vocab, from someone who writes in such a manner, is rather amusing.. And lacking creativity? From someone who stipulates that it needs to be longer to gain respect? I think you are the one lacking creativity, as you have it in your mind that poetry has to be written a certain way to be accepted. Free your mind, poetry is art, poetry is escape, there are no rules, you are only limiting your own abilities in believing there are.

Regards.

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