Now that was what i was hoping for, thanks for the insight, you got the idea down exactly, everything you said was what i wanted, i have to compliment your talent to read poetry as the author would have imagined, but through your own eyes still.
The 'lack' of vocab, i mean to pur it simply and literally, if you're dying and mentally writing your last words, you don't think or need vocab, though i understand that could help. I also wanted the simplicity to show the simplicity of life and death and how we complicate things only because we are afraid to realiese the possibility that life is just a means to an end...
...Thanks again Tourniquet, and i'm looking forward to seeing some of your own poetry...Any more comments?