You showed in this piece you got a real way of getting right into the emotions and atmosphere of what you write about. Using strong imagery, varied use of vocab and an overall ability to write about situations in a well dug out way, you really came good...

...okay, so at times you tailed off, over elaborating, letting the writing and emotions effect it (in a bad way). But that was only sometimes. And though you threw up a few cliches, they were used fairly well. And i usually don't pay attention to things being cliche anyway. So it's all good...

Liked the piece.

...resp....