IT ISNT BAD FOR A HORROR CORE ANGLE YOU LACKED COMPLEXITY. THE TOPIC VEARED AND I REALLY COULDNTRELAOTE TO ANY OF YOUR CONTEXT SO THE TRACK HAD NO REalistic SIGNIFICANCE

ON THE POSITIVE NOTE:
SOME LINES WHERE WELL CONSTRUCTED IN THOUGHT AND IMADRY WAS THERE IN THOSE TRY TO RE WRITE THIS AND IT MAY COME BETTER ONCE YOU SEE WHERE YOU LACKED