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Old 08-11-03, 12:27 PM   #15
AMEND
RB's Grandpa.!
 
Posts: 711
IP:

Graffik
If you’d try sharin-yah-vapor you could stop grippin-yah-nines/
It’s like “im tearin-yah-paper” cuz “this pen is rippin-yah-lines!”/|…
blah, played but sorta hit

Hmm maybe I shouldn’t-gang-wit-feeb cuz he couldn’t-bang-wit-G/
We could be “medieval convicts” and “u still wouldn’t-hang-wit-me!”/|….
1st line was ASS, 2nd kinda nice actually

See kid death is the only remaining-border and got saint’s-clutchin-weed/
N’ I should get “yah ass a restraining-order” cuz “yah shit ain’t-touchin-me”/|…
blah all around

N’ I’ll bust-a-move-,-crack-yah-back and I must-aprove-,-that-the-fact/
Is that I “don’t need tah consult mad man” just-tah-“prove-,-that-yah-whack!”/|…
1st blah and 2nd was descent, not a hard hit

see-the-pole-bleedin-oddly-shaded red, feeb-yah-old-even-thog-he-stated/
You can “forget about hair cuts” cuz “I’ll leave-yah-whole-freakin-body-faded!”/|…
blah finisher
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Feeble
i'll close this battle quick & leave ya votes as small as ya wins. .
marry mother NATURE to mr. loss. . i can see uve fallen for him! lol
yea it was pretty nice, plus a lil bit funny

shitty style ya use. . 1 punch with a hundred italics and dashes.
dont make W's. . all NATURE creates is power outage & flashes!
1st was blah 2nd kind hit

force me to lose? like the radio stations. . he'll never make FM!
hate-to-send. .he kidnapped brendan & still couldnt take the end!
1st was blah, 2nd hit kinda nice

i'd love to stay & shed light on nature like rays from the sun. .
but the W's stay blank like where he say where hes from!
LOL 2nd line, nice flow too

posts-ignite natures course disturbed. .he aint supposed-to-bite!
sig-name is casper. .cuz he always asks a friendly ghost-to-write!
blah finisher, kinda hit

OVERALL
Feeble TookThis For Having A WAY Simpler Structure But His Punches Hit As Hard And Even Harder The Graffik, And Graf, Using Italics Like That Really Doesnt Look Good. A Punch Is Better When The Reader Figures It Out Themselves, Not When U Highlight It. Think About That Next Battle U Have, Cause U Aint That Bad At Text. Descent Battle All Around And The Votes Feeble
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